The Darkness
by mama rocks
Summary: Jack is swamped by 'dark' emotions and hurts Ianto badly.Will Ianto forgive him? Will the rest of the team forgive him? Rating is for violence including sexual violence and sexual material in later chapters.Mainly Jack/Ianto and Tosh/Owen
1. Chapter 1

Jack stood outside his office leaning on the rails and watching his team pack up and leave for the night. Toshiko and Gwen called goodnight as they left together, they had arranged a late night shopping trip.

Owen emerged from the med lab wiping his hands and removing his white coat. He looked over at Ianto working at one of the monitors and made a quick decision.

'Ianto, you fancy going for a drink?' he already knew the answer.

Ianto smiled up at him the usual inscrutable look on his face.

'No thanks Owen' he said glancing up at Jack.

Owen rolled his eyes as he followed Ianto's glance. He stopped suddenly and watched Jack closely for a moment then walked over to him. He stood underneath the rails studying the way in which Jack's hands were convulsively clutching at the metal.

'Jack? You ok mate?' he questioned carefully.

Jack looked down at him as if wondering who he was. He shook himself and grinned at Owen,

'sorry Owen didn't see you. I'm fine' he said.

'Sure?' asked Owen still uncertain about Jack's mood.

'Really Owen. Go and find someone to have fun with' insisted Jack.

Owen took one last look and nodded briefly, raised a hand at Ianto and left the hub. Ianto looked up towards Jack,

'want to go and get something to eat captain?' he asked.

Jack looked through Ianto not really seeing him,

'no! Order in. We have work to do' he snapped.

Ianto was puzzled, he was not aware of any unfinished work, and he had no idea what had put Jack in such a bad temper. He stoically closed his monitor down, took out his phone to order food and made his way to the tourist office to await delivery.

When Ianto re-entered the hub twenty minutes later carrying Chinese take away Jack was nowhere to be found.

'Jack! Food!' shouted Ianto over the internal comms.

No response, so Ianto wandered to the boardroom taking cutlery and drinks from the fridge with him. He found Jack already there sitting with his head in his hands. Ianto stood in the doorway and considered his lover, what was wrong?

'Jack? You ok? I got the food' he said.

Jack's head snapped up and he spoke angrily,

'of course I'm ok. Let's eat' he said.

Ianto placed the food and drinks in front of the captain and sat himself at the table. He adopted his usual placatory posture designed to take all the blame onto himself for whatever had upset his lover. Once he knew what was upsetting Jack he could work on a solution.

'So what work do we have to finish?' he asked in a neutral tone.

'I want you to complete the paperwork on the Frongal incident' said Jack.

'Tonight?' gasped Ianto.

The Frongal incident had created a huge amount of paperwork, some of which each team member had been responsible for, none of which had been finished or submitted to Ianto. It would take him most of the night to complete the outstanding work, much of which should be done by the others.

'Yes tonight' snapped Jack 'don't question me Ianto.'

Ianto looked away annoyed. Jack often had bad mood swings and Ianto had often been on the receiving end of it, he was the person most likely to be around. He knew Jack would be apologetic later, and would make it up to him in many ways, but the thought of an evening doing other people's paperwork still did not appeal.

Ianto ate a small amount of food and wandered off to begin his appointed task. Jack sat at the table for a while longer, his face growing darker as he brooded over his thoughts.

As Ianto continued working into the night Jack began to pace in the boardroom muttering under his breath and clenching his fists.

Ianto looked up from his work as the hub door sounded and Toshiko entered.

'Tosh, hi. What are you doing back? I thought you were shopping with Gwen' he said.

'I was. I did. I arrived home to find my neighbour's flat had been broken in to. The place was swimming with police and handymen banging replacement doors into place. I thought it might be quieter here, hoped I'd feel safer too, and I do now I've had a Ianto hug.'

She laughed as she extricated herself from Ianto's comforting arms.

'Why are you still working? I expected to walk in on something very different to work' she smirked.

Ianto smiled.

'Sorry to disappoint you Tosh, Jack's in a mood. You should stay out of his way or he might recruit you into overtime too' he said.

Jack suddenly appeared,

'Ianto' he shouted.

'Yes sir.'

'Why are you working?' asked Jack.

'You ordered me to sir' replied Ianto.

'Have we eaten, I'm hungry' said Jack.

'Yes. We had Chinese. What's wrong Jack? You're acting very strange' said Ianto.

'How do you mean strange?' demanded Jack.

'You don't remember eating, you don't remember ordering me to work, and you're really moody' said Ianto warily.

'Are you ok Jack?' asked Toshiko

Jack looked at her and back at Ianto.

'Ianto who is that? And why is she in the hub?' he demanded.

Toshiko and Ianto stepped closer together for comfort, they were beginning to get very scared by Jack's behaviour.

'Jack this is Tosh, she's worked here longer than me, you recruited her, don't you remember? Please remember Jack, you're really beginning to freak me out' begged Ianto.

Jack looked lost for a moment,

'Ianto I..I don't know her..oh God Ianto it's the 'darkness'. Do we have a doctor? Phone him or her and tell them I need them and then get yourself and that woman out of here...don't come back for at least six hours' insisted Jack.

'Jack what's wrong? I'm not leaving you like this,' said Ianto.

'Go...please go...you don't understand..I might forget you Ianto..I might hurt you..you have to leave' begged Jack.

'Calm down Jack' said Toshiko.

'I'll call Owen, but I'm not leaving you Jack' said Ianto.

'Who the fuck is Owen? And if that woman speaks to me again I will smash her face' snarled Jack.

Ianto and Toshiko both stared at him in shock. Forgetting people was one thing but why was Jack becoming so horribly aggressive? Toshiko had never seen him spitting such venom before. He had been angry with her at times but never had she seen him threaten violence.

Ianto managed to reach Owen by phone as he continued to watch Jack pace about the hub. He became increasingly concerned as he watched him return to his office and start to throw things about seemingly losing what little self control he still possessed.

'Owen, Jack needs you. He's acting very strange..aggressive..and he keeps mumbling about the 'darkness'' said Ianto into his phone.

'Oh my God Ianto. I should have recognised the symptoms..I knew something wasn't right when I left. You have to get out of there Ianto..fast.' said Owen.

'That's what Jack keeps saying but he's not well Owen and I'm not leaving him. Tosh and I will try to keep him calm until you get here' said Ianto.

'Tosh is there?' screamed Owen 'keep her out of Jack's way, if you let him hurt her I will kill you'

'Jack's not going to hurt her Owen, he doesn't even remember who she is, he couldn't remember your name either..please Owen tell me what's going on' pleaded Ianto.

'This 'darkness' it's a remnant of his earlier life, he said he lost two years of memories and he thinks it's something to do with that. Happens every few years...sometimes worse than others...there's a compound in the lab..heavy duty sedative..I'm about an hour away from the hub..if you won't leave try to inject him with it'..said Owen speaking quickly.

'you have to Ianto, he'll get out of control..he will hurt anyone in his way..if he's already forgotten Tosh she's in most danger so look after her Ianto' he continued.

Ianto was beginning to panic now, this was obviously serious, he took a deep breath and prioritised his actions.

'Ok Owen, tell me the name of the drug and where to find it'

Owen told him and begged him again to look after Toshiko and keep her out of danger.

'Get here fast Owen' said Ianto ending the call.

Ianto told Toshiko briefly what Owen had told him.

'I think you should leave Tosh' he told her.

'No way Ianto. If you stay so do I.' Toshiko insisted.

'Ok Tosh. I'm going to sort out the drug Owen spoke of. You take some blankets down to the vaults on level two, when Jack's sedated we'll put him in there..just to be sure' said Ianto.

Toshiko nodded, understanding the reasoning behind what Ianto said and left to complete his orders. Ianto went to the med lab and searched the drawers looking for the drug Owen had described. He found it quickly and prepared an injection.

Jack left his office and Ianto found him sitting in the middle of the floor just rocking and hugging his knees. He ignored him for a moment whilst he checked for Toshiko's whereabouts on the monitors. He saw her in the vaults, throwing blankets into one of the cells. He pressed buttons and the vault door locked. Toshiko looked around,

'Ianto' she shouted 'what have you done?..let me out!'

'Sorry Tosh' whispered Ianto 'I promised Owen I would keep you safe.'

He switched off the sound on the intercom but could still see her battering at the door. He walked over to Jack on the floor, he had no intention of sedating the man before him. He was broken already, just rocking and listening to his demons. Ianto put the vial in his pocket.

He sat next to Jack and put his arms around him hoping to give some comfort to his lover.

His touch broke Jack's reverie and the older man stood abruptly flinging out an arm and knocking Ianto to the floor.

'Don't touch me' screamed Jack.

Ianto lay on the floor slightly dazed. Jack's eyes darted around the hub as if looking for something. His gaze fell on Gwen's workstation and he began to rip it apart. The monitor flew through the air and the contents of drawers and table top were systematically thrown against the opposite wall.

Ianto looked on in amazement and something approaching real fear. Jack was getting out of control. As Jack moved on to Toshiko's station he knew he had to act. Toshiko was working on highly sensitive and complicated programmes, she would be really upset if Jack wrecked them.

He stood up and cautiously approached Jack.

'Jack, stop!' he demanded.

Jack's head whipped around as he looked at him. He ignored him however and continued to upset Toshiko's work. Ianto realised the time had come to use Owen's drugs. He removed the vial from his pocket and attempted to approach Jack.

Jack noted his movement, swung around and punched him in the face, once more flooring Ianto. Jack picked Ianto up by his jacket and pulled him close. He suddenly stopped and looked at Ianto as if seeing him properly,

'Ianto' he breathed 'I told you to get out..get to safety'

'Jack listen to me..try to remember..calm down..Owen will be here soon..and you're scaring me Jack.'

Emotions convulsed over Jack's face and he threw Ianto away from him. Ianto took out the drug again and tried to manoeuvre himself into a position to use it.

Jack turned on him again and thumped him hard in the stomach. Gasping for breath Ianto doubled over, dropping the ampoule on the floor. Jack watched him for a moment then walked over to the weapons cupboard and tried to open it.

To Ianto it appeared that Jack could not remember the combination to unlock the cupboard. He began to frantically pull on the doors, thumping and kicking becoming increasingly desperate.

'Jack please..it's me..Ianto..you don't want to hurt me' said Ianto.

'Not you...me' replied Jack.

'NO!'

Ianto convulsed into action. He knew Jack would return even if he killed himself, but he couldn't stand by and watch the man he loved do such a terrible thing.

'Jack..no' he said softly putting his arms around the older man.

Jack turned in his embrace and saw him properly. He sobbed on Ianto's shoulder then kissed him gently on the lips.

Ianto responded to the kiss as he always did but something was wrong. Jack was becoming frantic, pushing Ianto's jacket off, undoing his shirt buttons. Ianto tried to push him away, grabbing his hands to stop him.

'Come on Ianto, you never say no' said Jack continuing to undress him.

'I'm not saying no Jack..I'm saying calm down' said Ianto.

Jack was removing his own clothes now.

'Ianto..it's this or shoot myself..maybe the woman would be more amenable..where is she?' Jack had gone again.

Ianto realised Jack still remembered him. His only hope was in keeping Jack here, away from Toshiko and above all occupied, not hurting himself or anyone else.

'Ok Jack..ok..look at me now..just me..come on we can have some fun here.' Ianto begged.

Jack's head whipped back to see Ianto again. He was undressing quickly and Jack joined him, ripping the clothes from his own body.

Jack grabbed Ianto's head and pulled him into a fierce kiss cutting Ianto's lips on his teeth. Jack drew his head back and looked at the blood then leant forward and licked it off Ianto's mouth, his breathing quickened,

'come on boy be quicker' snapped Jack pulling at Ianto's remaining clothes.

Ianto was also breathing hard but more in fear and panic than lust. He had been with his captain countless times, sometimes it had been loving and gentle, sometimes fast and aggressive, but it had always been Jack. Ianto felt he didn't know the person now groping him, it was Jack but not Jack. It was Jack's body but there was very little of the captain he knew in there.

He was naked now and Jack pushed him to the floor and fell on top of him pinning him down. Ianto struggled to breathe under Jack's weight and tried ineffectually to push Jack's hands off him. Jack's hands closed about his throat and he snarled into his face,

'stop struggling boy..this is happening..enjoy it.'

Ianto could feel himself losing consciousness as Jack squeezed harder on his neck.

'Stay with me boy..you don't want to miss this' whispered Jack into his ear and letting go of his throat.

Ianto blazed back to reality and started to fight with Jack again, trying to push him off. Jack's weight kept him pinned down and he began to bite the younger man's neck. Ianto tried to calm himself, after all this was still Jack. He'd been pinned under his captain countless times and he tried to fool his mind into enjoying the experience. But the fear kept intruding, this was not really the man he knew.

'Jack please stop..calm down..slow down..you know I won't refuse..just give me a chance to catch up' begged Ianto.

'Get there faster boy' sneered Jack.

He flipped Ianto over onto his front and Ianto began to panic in earnest pushing himself up on his elbows to try to escape. Jack pulled one of his arms behind him and forced it up his back dislocating his shoulder. Ianto screamed in pain and Jack groaned in pleasure at the sound.

Ianto was glad of the distracting pain in his shoulder when Jack entered him swiftly causing him to scream again. He tried desperately to relax his muscles, to save himself from further damage.

Jack seemed spurred on by the obvious pain Ianto was in and he thrust hard and fast into the younger man. He grabbed Ianto's hair and pulled his head back,

'help me to forget..save me from the darkness' he shouted.

Ianto sobbed from pain and fear as Jack achieved his orgasm and slowed his thrusts resting briefly on Ianto's body.

'Jack..Jack?' sobbed Ianto needing to know if his captain was back.

Jack rolled off Ianto and staggered to his feet. He looked down at the injured Ianto but still did not seem to see him.

'Not enough..not enough' muttered Jack over and over.

He stumbled to the gun cabinet again and rattled the door. Ianto watched him from the floor unable and unwilling to move just yet.

Jack gave up with the door as his attention was caught by the internal cctv monitor showing Toshiko locked in the vaults.

'Arhh..the woman' murmured Jack

He looked around as if deciding which way he should go to reach Toshiko.

'Jack..no..don't hurt Tosh..stay here with me' pleaded Ianto.

Jack dismissed him with a single glance. Ianto struggled over to his suit jacket. He had no hope of injecting Jack with drugs, he would be physically incapable. But his hand closed around his gun.

'Jack..I won't let you hurt Tosh' he shouted,

Jack looked at him with a sneer on his face

'you wouldn't dare' he said.

He started to move again towards the vaults, Ianto felt the weight of the gun in his hands. He trembled, was he really going to shoot the man he loved? But he felt the pain of the injuries Jack had inflicted on him and he heard again Owen's voice begging him to protect Toshiko, and he fired.

Jack fell, the bullet had pierced his shoulder but he quickly recovered enough to sit and stare around at Ianto. Still pointing the gun at Jack Ianto crawled over towards him.

Ianto watched the emotions pass over Jack's face, watched the captain he knew return. Was the pain from the bullet enough?

Jack began to gasp as he looked at Ianto and all his injuries.

'Ianto?' he questioned.

The horror of the situation was becoming evident to Jack as he realised what had happened. Ianto watched him with tears in his eyes, was this really Jack coming back to him? Could he trust him yet?

'Oh no Ianto..no..no..' wept Jack.

Ianto was beginning to relax, beginning to lose control, beginning to drift towards unconsciousness. He tried to fight it, he couldn't leave Toshiko with Jack, couldn't trust that the real Jack was back. He lifted the gun and fired again, a direct hit to Jack's chest. Both men fell together as the hub door activated and Owen entered.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

What is the 'darkness'? Can Ianto forgive Jack? Will their relationship survive?


	2. Chapter 2

Owen raced over to Ianto ignoring Jack. Jack would heal regardless of whether Owen helped him, but Ianto needed attention.

Owen drew in a sharp breath at the sight of the injured man, but quickly fell into 'doctor' mode. He checked for a pulse and let out the breath he didn't realise he was holding when he found it strong and steady, Ianto was unconscious not dead.

He quickly assessed the young man's injuries and forced his shoulder back into its socket whilst Ianto was still out, saving him the additional trauma of being conscious for the procedure.

The only other obvious injury was indicated by the blood trickling down Ianto's legs. Owen realised Jack had assaulted the young man but he would not examine these injuries whilst Ianto was unconscious. He tucked a blanket around Ianto and turned to his next priority, finding Toshiko.

He switched on the internal comms and shouted.

'Tosh where are you?'

'Owen? Ianto locked me in the vaults, let me out. Is he alright? Is Jack alright?' Toshiko asked breathlessly.

Owen unlocked the vault and answered,

'come up and see'.

He walked over and stood above Ianto, then sat on the floor next to him,

'thank you' he whispered to the unconscious man, relieved beyond words that Toshiko was safe, and impressed beyond measure that Ianto had saved her at the expense of himself.

Toshiko was by his side moments later, she knelt next to Ianto.

'What happened? Owen is he ok?' she asked with tears in her eyes.

'He's alive' answered Owen 'he saved you Tosh.'

'What do you mean saved me? He locked me in the vaults, I would have been fine' replied Toshiko still indignant about being imprisoned.

'You would not have been fine Tosh, look what he did to Ianto, he ripped his shoulder out of its socket and...and other stuff' stammered Owen.

'Oh' said Toshiko 'what do you mean other stuff?' and she looked at Ianto again concerned.

'He's bleeding Tosh..all down his legs..Jack must have assaulted him' Owen gulped his emotions down.

Toshiko looked at Owen in disbelief, she lifted the blanket slightly and looked at Ianto's legs, tears beginning to roll down her face.

'Jack wouldn't do that. Not to Ianto' she sobbed still trying to deny the evidence.

Ianto was beginning to stir now and was groaning in pain. Owen leant over him.

'Ianto it's ok. Try to stay still, until I can strap your shoulder.'

'Jack?' asked Ianto.

'He'll be ok. When he starts to revive I'll drug him. It'll all be over by tomorrow' said Owen, knowing that this time it would not really be over until Ianto was recovered.

'Did he hurt Tosh?' asked Ianto.

'No..you saved me Ianto..thank you..but you should have let me help' answered Toshiko.

'Owen insisted I keep you safe' smiled Ianto and Toshiko looked at Owen with gratitiude.

Owen placed a sling around Ianto's arm and shoulder to give it support as it healed. He showed Ianto a syringe,

'painkiller?' he asked and Ianto nodded.

Ianto waited a couple of minutes after the drug had been administered then began to look around for his clothes. Toshiko gathered them up for him and he smiled at her.

'Ianto...before you dress...Jack hurt you..I should examine you' Owen said tentatively.

'No!' insisted Ianto 'I'll be fine'

'Ianto'

'No Owen!' Ianto was beginning to panic.

'Ok ok' Owen backed off quickly.

'I want to get dressed' announced Ianto.

'Let me help' said Owen.

'No! Please Owen, it's embarrassing...Tosh would you help?' begged Ianto.

Toshiko just nodded. Owen was amazed that Ianto would allow Toshiko to perform such an intimate task for him, maybe he just didn't want another man near him.

'I'll see to Jack' he said.

Half an hour later Toshiko and Ianto had left the hub for Owen's flat. Owen had insisted Ianto not go home if he refused to be examined and Ianto had asked Toshiko to stay with him.

Jack gasped and drew air into his lungs, Owen had him strapped down on the autopsy table in case he was still suffering the 'darkness' and the ampoule of sedative was ready in his hand. Jack struggled to get up.

'Jack?' questioned Owen.

'Owen..what the fuck is this...what's happened' asked Jack.

'You ok?' asked Owen, Jack appeared normal but he would ask a few questions to be sure.

'Of course I'm ok, what happened? Did I die? And why the hell am I tied down?' Jack was confused and exasperated, but he was definitely Jack. Owen released him.

'Jack...the 'darkness' took you..do you remember?' asked Owen.

Memory began to pass across Jack's face,

'Oh my God Ianto. Where is he? Is he ok?'

'You hurt him Jack' said Owen sadly.

Memory flooded into Jack, he leant forward and sobbed into his arms.

'Where is he now?' he asked.

'At my place with Tosh, I'm going there now...we'll look after him...bring him in tomorrow' said Owen.

Jack just nodded and as Owen left the hub he collapsed sobbing to the floor.

XXXXXX

When Owen reached his home he was surprised to find Toshiko and Ianto were not in his lounge or kitchen. He trotted to the bedroom and found them both in bed asleep, Toshiko wrapped in Ianto's arms.

Owen went and sat in his lounge with a bottle of beer and tried to work out what was happening. Toshiko and Ianto were obviously a lot closer than anyone realised. First it was her he wanted to help him dress, and now this.

He was still on the sofa brooding when Ianto joined him an hour later. He sat next to Owen on the sofa and said,

'thank you' and indicated his shoulder.

Owen shrugged.

'So.....you and Tosh?' he questioned not liking the spark of jealousy he felt.

'We're friends Owen..nothing more' explained Ianto.

Owen raised an eyebrow at him.

'We spend a lot of time together...not so much now..with Jack..and we often sleep together' said Ianto.

'Just sleep?' questioned Owen.

'Just sleep' agreed Ianto.

Owen nodded slightly.

'Well I wouldn't blame either of you...she's gorgeous and so are you' admitted Owen.

Ianto looked at him in amazement,

'me?' he asked.

'Don't be naive Ianto, when you joined Torchwood I fantasised about you for weeks' admitted Owen.

Ianto looked at him and laughed, momentarily forgetting all his pain.

'Don't get smug teaboy, I got over it' said Owen frowning at him trying to hide his own laughter.

'Well you never said anything' Ianto smiled.

'Yeah, I knew you were straight' said Owen.

Ianto quirked an eyebrow,

'oh come on..Jack was your first don't deny it...I knew it would take a better man than me to make you want to try it' he smiled.

'He had the patience to tease you into it...I just wanted to shag your brains out' he continued laughing.

'I didn't realise you liked men' said Ianto smiling back at him.

'I don't ...not often..but occasionally a sexy bloke in a suit appears, making your cock twitch every time he calls the boss SIR.'

Ianto and Owen looked at each other and laughed uproariously, the horrors of the night forgotten in a moment of friendship and laughter.

Ianto became serious for a moment.

'Owen...have you and Jack ever...?' he asked.

'No...I like to be dominant...he would have fought me for control...I don't think either of us thought the result would be worth the effort,' he shrugged, 'you're different.'

'I'm not a girl Owen' insisted Ianto affronted 'Jack might be the boss at work, but he's not always in charge at home...not always' he repeated.

Owen looked at him sympathetically.

'I know..I see that...but what he would have fought to keep me from having, he gives to you willingly...he loves you Ianto.'

'It didn't feel like love last night' gulped Ianto.

'No...I don't imagine it did' said Owen softly.

He put his arms around Ianto as the younger man broke down and wept, stroking his hair and planting a small kiss on the top of his head, feeling the tears prick behind his own eyes.

Toshiko arrived downstairs in time to witness Ianto just recovering and Owen gestured to her and gave up his place holding Ianto for Toshiko to take over. He went to fix them all a drink.

When they all had coffee Ianto asked Owen to tell them about Jack's condition.

'I don't know much, only what I told you on the phone. I've only seen it once before and then Jack knew it was coming and asked me to sedate him...he calls it the darkness because all he feels when it takes over are dark emotions, hate, pain, anger' he stumbled '...lust.... It's not him Ianto...Jack's not like that...you know that more than anyone.'

Ianto nodded trying to assimilate this new information about his lover. He didn't know how he was going to cope with seeing Jack in the morning, but he was already beginning to wonder if he was ok on his own at the hub.

'Stop worrying about him Ianto' said Owen.

'How did...?' asked Ianto.

'You're biting your lip, twiddling your thumbs and frowning' laughed Toshiko 'you always do those things when you are worrying.'

'Do I?' asked Ianto, pleased at how well his friends knew him and at their obvious concern.

'Yes' they answered together.

'You going to be alright tomorrow?....you don't have to go in you know.' said Owen.

'I know' said Ianto 'I have to see him...I have to know the real Jack is back...I want Jack' and Ianto broke down again, but briefly this time.

'Do you want to go back to bed Ianto' asked Toshiko gently.

'Yes please Tosh' said Ianto 'Owen..come with us.'

'That is REALLY kinky teaboy' laughed Owen.

Ianto smiled at him, starting to feel happier in the comfort of his friends.

'Well it is your house...the sofa is not too comfy...and I think I'd like to feel safe between you both...and yes I am a bit kinky..it sounds interesting' he laughed.

It was a strange scenario, the three teammates in bed, but Ianto was right it did make him feel safe, and it was no stranger than everything else in his life right now.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Next chapter – what happens the next morning. How do they all cope with seeing Jack.


	3. Chapter 3

Owen had already called Gwen and told her not to come to work today. Ianto really didn't need any more witnesses to his distress, and she would undoubtedly make it worse with her sympathy.

Toshiko, Owen and Ianto entered the hub together. Ianto had merely nodded when Owen asked once again as they arrived if he was sure he wanted to see Jack.

As the door rolled back they all saw Jack standing in the middle of the room watching the door and looking smaller and more unsure of himself than any of them had ever witnessed before.

With Toshiko and Owen on either side of him Ianto looked at his lover for a long moment and then walked towards him purposefully and pulled him into a fierce hug with his good arm.

Jack broke and wept in Ianto's embrace muttering 'I'm sorry' over and over.

Ianto stepped back and held out a hand behind himself that Toshiko immediately reached out to hold. Jack took a step towards him but Ianto took one backwards. Uncertainly Jack tried to move towards Ianto again and Owen stepped between the men, put a hand in the middle of Jack's chest and shook his head. Jack stopped moving.

Toshiko pulled Ianto over to the kitchen area where they could be separate from the other two whilst still in the room. Jack looked at Owen.

'Is he ok?' he asked.

Owen looked at Jack for a long moment then suddenly without warning he punched him hard in the face.

'Don't hurt him again you bastard' he shouted.

Toshiko and Ianto both looked over at the men, startled by the outburst. Ianto moved to join them but Toshiko held him back.

'Leave them Ianto. Perhaps we don't have the right, but Owen and I are angry too. He frightened us...and he hurt you......we are not as strong as you...we want to hurt him back...I'm sorry' she whispered.

Ianto held her in a hug, he recognised that his friends would deal with this differently, he knew he had to accept that.

Jack staggered after the punch but collected himself enough to know retaliation would not be appropriate.

'I'm sorry Owen...I won't hurt him...please help me' he begged.

Owens anger was fading slightly, especially as he knew it would only serve to upset Ianto. His shoulders slumped and he answered Jack's original question.

'Jack I don't know what to tell you. He couldn't shower alone this morning..the bruises and the shoulder..Tosh had to help him...he had blood all down the backs of his legs Jack...you really hurt him...I set his shoulder when he was unconscious but he won't let me examine anything else...' Owen's voice trailed off sadly.

Jack gulped in misery at the hurt he had caused.

'Why didn't you examine him whilst he was still out?' he demanded.

Owen became angry, how dare Jack question his decisions as a doctor when Ianto's condition was all his fault.

'Because I didn't think he needed to come around to find another bloke assaulting him' he spat and walked off.

Jack stood lost in the middle of the hub. He was angry with himself not Owen, and he knew Owen had been right to wait for Ianto's permission.

He didn't know how to solve this problem, didn't know how he could ever apologise for what he had done. He just knew he desperately wanted Ianto in his life and the thought of that not happening was unbearable. He knew he had hurt and upset his team, but what untold damage had he done to Ianto?

He watched as Ianto made coffee, the young man was taking comfort from ordinary actions. He continued watching as Toshiko gave Ianto the comfort he so wanted to provide himself. He ached to hold the man he loved.

Jack wondered how he could possibly convince Ianto to talk to him. They needed to talk about what had happened. He needed to know how Ianto felt.

Ianto solved this dilemma by bringing him a drink and indicating they should sit on the sofa. Ianto sat with him, not close as he normally would, but it was still more than Jack had expected.

'Ianto I'm so sorry' said Jack unable to look at Ianto now he was so close.

'Tell me about this 'darkness'...I need to understand Jack' said Ianto.

'I don't understand it myself. Ever since the time agency stole my memories this deep depression takes hold of me at intervals...it scares me Ianto..I forget who I am..I forget other people... and all I want is to get rid of the feelings of anger and misery, usually by hurting myself...nothing else exists for me when it comes' he said.

'It doesn't last long and I've learnt to sedate myself when I feel it coming. I've not felt it for a long time..I hoped it had gone finally..I was wrong and you got hurt...and I can't tell you how much that hurts me' Jack was slumped in his misery.

'I'll recover from the physical damage..it hurts more that you didn't tell me' whispered Ianto.

'How could I tell you something like this...it's ugly...it's horrible...it's not me..except that it is..I'm the monster under the bed.' Jack sagged even more.

'I don't think you're a monster' whispered Ianto.

The word had not been used between them since Ianto had called Jack a monster when they had all found Lisa. Now, at the time when Jack thought he had proved Ianto right, here was Ianto denying it.

Jack looked at him in amazement.

'Ianto how can you say that? I hurt you..I forced you to..'

'NO!' insisted Ianto loudly,

'I didn't say no Jack..I didn't even think it..you frightened me and you hurt me..but you did NOT rape me' he insisted.

Jack nodded as Ianto held his hands and willed him to believe it. If this was how Ianto needed to cope with what had happened he would not insist on further analysis.

'I should have trusted you and told you..I'm sorry. Ianto don't you have things you have kept from me..things you think I wouldn't understand..or that you just don't want me to know?' asked Jack hopefully.

Ianto looked up at him, he was still holding Jack's hands, he needed the comfort of being close to his lover, needed to believe this would be over and normality, or what passed for it at Torchwood, would return.

'Tell me something about you I don't know Ianto' begged Jack.

Ianto smiled to himself and decided to try to lighten the mood.

'Owen had sexual fantasies about me when I first came to work here' he smiled.

Jack stared at him open mouthed in astonishment.

'Oh my God!' he looked around to see the medic, and laughed.

'But that's not about you, tell me something I don't know about you' said Jack softly.

Ianto looked down at his hands. He could understand why Jack wanted this, he needed them both to see that he had not deliberately kept a secret, more just left something unsaid.

'I sleep with Tosh' said Ianto quietly.

Jack felt his world get knocked sideways and he drew in his breath sharply to contain the hurt.

'I mean sleep Jack, not have sex. We don't do it so much since me and you, but sometimes we both need comfort...warm arms that will help chase the nightmares but not expect anything in return' he explained.

Jack's breath continued to hitch. He was relieved Ianto was not cheating but hurt beyond measure that Ianto felt he had to obtain comfort elsewhere. Jack would be willing to provide comfort and he had obviously not managed to convey that to his lover. It was one more piece of evidence that he was failing this young man and needed to try harder.

'I'd like to be the one to chase the nightmares..except I've caused this one' he said sadly.

'That's why you will have to be the one to chase it away' smiled Ianto 'and I need you to forgive me for shooting you.'

'Already done,' said Jack.

'You made me really proud that you would go to such lengths to save Tosh, it was very brave...you are an inspirational man Ianto Jones' said Jack quietly.

'Jack...can we just try to be normal for the rest of the day...just do what we normally do' Ianto asked.

'I'd like that Ianto. I know I can't make what I did go away, but I will do anything you want to try and make you feel better...anything' said Jack.

Ianto smiled cautiously.

'Then let's do some work...and Jack...take me out at lunchtime..just you and me...talk?'

Jack nodded and they both returned to work.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ianto had wanted to leave the hub at lunchtime to talk further with Jack, but Jack was out hunting a rogue weevil with Owen .

He wandered into his captain's office and sat at his desk. His mind was flooded with the memories of all the times they had spent here.

When he had first arrived and provided endless cups of coffee and deflected endless flirtatious remarks. After Lisa when he had seen the hurt in Jack's eyes and heard the anger in his voice. Later when they had become comfortable in each other's company and he would help Jack to complete reports. Even later, the touches, the kisses, the sex.

Ianto felt calm now, as soon as he had seen Jack he felt better. Jack was back, the real Jack, his Jack. He would recover from the physical injuries and he was determined to overcome the emotional ones, but he recognised that it might take time, for both of them.

The hub alarm sounded and Owen struggled back in dragging Jack. Ianto left the office at speed alarmed at seeing his lover injured.

'Owen what happened?' he gasped as he realised that Jack was dead.

'Weevil was a nasty bugger, Jack got in its way' said Owen.

He dragged Jack's body to the middle of the floor and threw him down, quickly walking away. Ianto bent over his lover's body and drew sharp breaths as he saw the injuries to his throat.

'Leave him Ianto...he'll be ok' hissed Owen.

Ianto was kneeling on the floor next to Jack, prepared to wait patiently so that the older man did not wake alone.

'I know he'll be ok Owen but it doesn't stop me grieving.....every time....every time it's like he takes a part of me with him' said Ianto softly.

Owen was angry. He was angry with what Jack had done, and more angry that Ianto appeared prepared to forgive him. He knew it wasn't his place to decide how Ianto should react, and he wasn't annoyed with Ianto so much as with the whole stupid situation. Much as he constantly sniped at the two men about their relationship, he had found it strangely calming to have a steady emotional presence at the hub.

Ianto should have done as he was told and left the hub. His obstinacy and Jack's secrets threatened to ruin the peace of the workplace. He looked at the young man on the floor, stoically accepting all the crap the universe threw at him and could not resist adding his own.

'Do you remember what he did to you Ianto?....leave him for God's sake' he spat.

Ianto looked at him calmly.

'Owen..thank you....but you can't protect me from this...I can't leave him...I'm sorry' he said.

Ianto was the youngest and in many ways the most damaged member of the team yet he was also the strongest. Owen was incredulous that the young man was so determined to overcome this latest catastrophe in his life, yet also full of admiration.

'ok Ianto...ok..your call' he said quietly.

Owen left the Welshman to his vigil and went to talk to Toshiko.

'How does he seem to you?' he asked about Ianto.

'Seems to be ok considering' answered Toshiko,

'but we all know how much Ianto can keep hidden' she answered sadly.

Minutes later Jack gasped back to life and Ianto held him as he came to his senses.

'Ianto?' questioned Jack a little confused.

As Ianto realised that Jack was recovered he dropped his hold on the other man and sat back a little. Remembrance came to Jack and he accepted the small rejection, but put a smile on his face as he said,

'Ianto let's go to lunch'

Ianto laughed slightly and accepted the invitation.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The two men walked in the park side by side but not touching and found a bench on which to sit. They sat companionably eating the sandwiches they had bought but not yet talking.

'Will we get over this do you think?' asked Jack holding his breath as he waited for the answer.

'Yes' said Ianto simply.

Jack looked at him.

'Ianto how can you be so sure?....that was a pretty terrible thing I did to you' he said.

'I know ...I was there remember' Ianto replied sadly,

'we will overcome it. But I might need to see you as you for a while before we...'he left the sentence incomplete.

'I realise that Ianto, I'm not completely insensitive' smiled Jack 'I just need to know you won't leave me' he continued with tears in his eyes.

'I won't leave Jack...I can't' said Ianto.

'You can Ianto...I won't stop you...and I promise not to retcon you' said Jack.

Ianto smiled at him.

'That's not what I mean...I can't leave..not because I think you won't let me...but because I love you' he said.

Jack slumped forward a sob escaping his throat.

'We could use retcon...if you think it would help' he offered 'we could both forget this ever happened.

'Oh that way madness lies captain' said Ianto forcefully 'I'm strong enough to get through this..and I love you enough to want to do it.'

Jack looked at his lover again, he was calm and thoughtful. He had obviously given this much thought and decided how he would deal with the situation.

Jack knew Ianto dealt with things differently to many people, he liked order and precision and no doubt he had decided exactly how he would cope with this situation. Jack would need to be prepared to follow the young man's lead. His breath caught in his throat as he said,

'I thought I would lose you'.

'Never!' answered Ianto simply. 'We all know how short and fragile life is, I won't give up the person that makes me happy over one mistake'.

'A pretty big and painful mistake' said Jack.

'But life's too short' Ianto repeated. 'I'm grabbing my happiness and not letting go' he added with determination.

Jack considered this. He so wanted to believe Ianto could let go of what he had done to him. He wanted them to move on, for their relationship to return to what it had been. He wanted the others to forgive him as well, and that would not happen until and unless Ianto led the way.

He looked again at Ianto's face, set with determination to keep that which made him happy. This young Welshman was just about strong enough Jack thought.

Ianto began to throw the remains of his sandwich to the ducks at the water's edge. The ducks began to leave the water and waddle about near the men's feet, quickly followed by some geese.

'Ianto..stop feeding the birds' said Jack.

Ianto looked round at him surprised at the panic in the older man's voice.

'It's only a bit of bread for the ducks' he said soothingly.

'It's not the ducks I mind it's the geese....stop feeding the geese Ianto...they're vicious' Jack squealed.

Ianto looked at him in amazement was the great captain Jack actually squealing.

Ianto laughed and then laughed some more as Jack climbed up onto the bench to get his feet away from the birds.

'Iantooo' fear was rising in Jack's voice.

'Keep them away from me Ianto...please keep them away' Jack was almost shouting.

An audience had gathered now watching in amusement as a fully grown man stood on a park bench panicking because some birds were gathering near to him.

'Look at their nasty pecking beaks.......do something Ianto!' the panic in Jack's voice was rising all the time.

'Oh God they're coming for me....look at the beaks...look at the beaks...Iantoooo'

Jack was hopping from foot to foot, his eyes never leaving the geese in front of him. Ianto was now giggling uncontrollably. Watching the man who saved the universe on a daily basis, squeaking in fear over a couple of birds was highly comical.

He shooed the birds away and helped Jack down from his perch and off the bench to walk back to the hub. Jack kept looking behind them, checking to see if they were being followed, Ianto chuckled at him.

Jack turned yet again to check for feathered followers, clutching at Ianto's coat sleeve as he did so.

'Ianto...they shit all over the floor.....they are DEEPLY insanitary....if they follow us you have to shoo them away...ok?' he whispered frantically, and this time Ianto laughed loudly.

He put his hand in the captains. Seeing Jack with a totally irrational fear and helping to give him some comfort, had in turn comforted Ianto. He had needed to see the vulnerable side of the man who had hurt him. Seeing him humiliated and afraid in this comical situation had been a tonic and had lightened the mood between them.

When they arrived back at the hub Jack shivered, shook himself and with an apologetic grin at Ianto took himself off to his office.

Ianto went to Toshiko at her workstation and indicated that he wanted access to her monitor. She sat back and watched as Ianto pulled up cctv footage of Jack in the park with the geese.

Ianto did not speak to Toshiko just smiled at her and indicated that she should send the link to Owen in the med lab. They all needed to see this, the man who had made them all afraid shivering in a ridiculous panic.

That evening Ianto went home with Toshiko causing Jack's heart to contract with pain, and giving Owen a stab of jealousy he was not yet ready to analyse.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXx

In the next chapter Jack and Ianto regain some of their closeness. But Ianto has rules, can Jack follow them? Some sexual content.


	4. Chapter 4

Gwen was back at work the following day and by unspoken agreement no one told her what had happened. She accepted Owen's explanation that they had been re-examining a case that had been before her time, though she knew it to be untrue.

Toshiko and Ianto arrived together which caused Gwen to raise her eyebrows at Owen but as he didn't respond she assumed it was coincidence. Then she saw that Ianto's shoulder was strapped.

'Ianto what happened?' she exclaimed.

Ianto stopped in his tracks, he had foreseen the need for a cover story for Gwen and he had planned for it. But he did not enjoy lying to friends after all the lies he had told to protect Lisa. He took a deep breath.

'Late night weevil hunting with Jack' he said avoiding eye contact.

'Jack let you get hurt!' she said outraged.

Part of Owen wanted to expose the fact that Jack had caused the injury not just allowed it to happen but he looked at his friend, saw his pain and intervened.

'Even heroes have off days Gwen' he insisted.

Gwen swung to look at him but she accepted what he said with a small smile.

'I suppose..well take it easy today Ianto, look after yourself for a change' she smiled at him.

Ianto smiled at her, thanked Owen with his eyes and continued into the hub.

Owen was still angry with Jack and still puzzled by Ianto's obvious desire to forgive him. He was trying to accept the young Welshman's decision but found it difficult.

Toshiko could see his struggle and went to talk to him.

'How was Ianto last night?' he asked her.

'A lot happier' she admitted 'still worried, still more concerned for Jack than himself, but he talked and relaxed and slept' she continued.

'Do you understand how he can get over this Tosh? I mean if Rhys attacked Gwen do you think she would forgive so easily?' Owen asked.

'It's not EASY for him Owen, but he's determined to have his life back, to be happy...I respect that. It wouldn't be the same for Gwen and Rhys...after all Rhys is not from a different time...and he doesn't have people who have messed with his mind' she replied.

Owen looked at her considering the truth of what she was saying.

'I just don't want Ianto hurt anymore' he said 'I don't want any of us hurt anymore. Our lives are already full of shit we don't need to add more'

Toshiko was touched, Owen rarely showed emotion and Ianto had never seemed to be more than a sniping target for him before.

'You're full of surprises Owen' she said smiling.

'Yeah it's like having an annoying kid brother working with me' he admitted almost shamefacedly.

On impulse Toshiko hugged him tight.

'Thank you for caring, I know Ianto appreciates it...and so do I' she whispered.

Jack had appeared at Owen's side without warning.

'I appreciate it too' he said quietly.

Owen looked at him anger still in his eyes.

'I can just about live with the idea of you two shagging, but don't hurt him, don't hurt what we've built here...you should have seen Ianto can't do part time shagging...if that's what you wanted you shouldn't have chosen him' he growled 'play by his rules for a while...ok?....give him what he wants for once' he pleaded.

'He is not part time to me' sighed Jack. 'What do YOU suppose he wants?' he asked.

'You're the one who should know...love...security....a bloke who doesn't hurt him...put some effort in Jack' he snapped.

Jack nodded.

'He's going to forgive me for this Owen and when he does you need to let him know you're ok with that...he needs his friends...and I promise to give him anything and everything he wants' he smiled sadly.

Toshiko and Owen watched him walk back to his office, hands in pockets and deep in thought.

Ianto took Jack a coffee and smiled at him.

'Was Owen giving you a hard time again?' he asked.

'yes'

'I'm sorry...' began Ianto

'Don't' snapped Jack.

'Don't bloody apologise to me when this is my fault. Don't be a bloody doormat Ianto it's not healthy. Why aren't you angry? Why is it Owen thumping me and not you? Even Tosh is annoyed with me, and you're trying to pretend everything is ok. It's not ok Ianto so for fucks sake react to it' Jack was seething.

He could not bear to have Ianto so controlled. He wanted him to shout, to hit back. Jack could deal with that, but he did not know how to cope with the level of containment Ianto was displaying.

Even when supremely angry Ianto had an amazing amount of self control and he needed every ounce of it now.

'You don't get to decide how I react to this' he spat.

'I'm not being a doormat, I know what I want and I WILL have it despite your best efforts to ruin everything. I am NOT ok...and I AM bloody angry...I'm also intelligent enough to know violence will not make me feel better.'

Ianto's eyes were flashing fire and Jack was a little alarmed by the emotion he saw contained there.

'Stop being so wrapped up in your own guilt and let me deal with it how I think best....it may not be your way but that does not necessarily mean it's wrong...think about it Jack' snapped Ianto.

Ianto turned to leave.

'Wait!' said Jack.

'No!'

'Ianto come back here' Jack shouted.

'Fuck off Jack' Ianto shouted back.

He left the office at speed. Speaking to no one he took himself out of the hub and marched around the docks for thirty minutes startling tourists with his determined hurry. He was using up the excess energy that he would not allow Jack to force him into turning into violent action.

Jack was dumbfounded, Ianto rarely used bad language no matter how dire the situation. Sometimes during sex he would use it, but even then often lapsed into Welsh so that Jack did not understand, as if to protect him from hearing it. That always made Jack smile. He realised now just how angry and affected Ianto had been by this whole situation, and how ridiculous he had been not to understand that.

The team had heard Ianto shout. Gwen was amazed and slightly shocked by Ianto's unusual outburst, Toshiko just looked sad but Owen grinned triumphantly at Jack, pleased that Ianto had hit back. Jack returned to his chair and sagged in defeat.

Ianto returned to the hub after his energy was spent. Jack looked up when he returned and attempted to apologise with his eyes.

'Ianto' he called.

Ianto looked up at him.

'Your way' said Jack.

Ianto nodded at the older man, reluctantly giving him a half smile as he accepted Jack's unspoken admittance that he was wrong.

Jack had accepted the inevitable. Ianto would do this his way or not at all, and not at all was not an option Jack was prepared to consider, he swallowed his ego and prepared to do things Ianto's way.

Work continued as normal helping them all to feel safe. Ianto and Jack spent many small moments together and regained their closeness. Ianto relaxed in his captain's company and began to touch him gently at times, testing his own and the other man's reactions.

Jack took to following Ianto wanting to be close, to make sure he was alright. Mid morning he was attempting to help Ianto prepare coffee for everyone when, exasperated, Ianto put his hands on his hips and sighed heavily.

'Jack I know what you are trying to do...and thank you...but if you don't leave my kitchen I may have to inform UNIT of various things you would not wish them to know!' he huffed.

Jack smiled.

'Too much?' he asked.

'Way too much' laughed Ianto.

Jack touched his cheek gently and tentatively leaned in for a kiss. It was a brief touch of lips, chaste but full of promise. As Ianto felt the familiar tingle in his groin that Jack's kisses always elicited he smiled at him, and Jack left him alone to work.

That evening as the others prepared to leave Ianto entered Jack's office.

'Come home with me tonight?' he asked.

Jack looked up and hope rushed into him.

'Ianto, are you sure?' he asked.

'Yes..I want to sleep with you tonight not Tosh..but.. I have some rules...if that's ok?' said Ianto.

'Anything is ok...anything at all' said Jack.

He got up from his chair and walked around to Ianto, tentatively putting up his arms. Ianto relaxed into the embrace but only briefly. Owen and Toshiko both witnessed the hug and smiled at each other.

'Tosh' began Owen tentatively,

'mmm'

'Do you fancy coming to mine for dinner?' he asked with his head down.

'Owen! You mean you'll cook!' Toshiko was incredulous.

'Well cook...order take away..' responded Owen.

Toshiko considered, the incidents of the last few days had shown her a different side of Owen and had bought them closer.

'I'd like that Owen..thank you' she replied carefully.

The two couples left the hub together.

XXXX

Later at Ianto's home both men sat on his bed fully dressed.

'You said you had rules Ianto, you should explain them to me. I want to be here, but I don't want to do anything that will upset you' said Jack.

'I don't really have rules.. it's more that there are things I want to happen..and things I don't..and I need to know that you're ok with that' Ianto looked down at his hands nervously.

'I need to know whatever happens here is my choice' he added quietly.

Jack wanted to weep at the level of hurt he had caused, but he just agreed.

Ianto continued.

'I want us to have sex tonight, but I need you to come first'

Jack smiled at him,

'I think I can manage that' he said.

'No Jack! I mean I need you to come before we do anything else. ..and I need you to do it yourself..I want to watch so I can see you are in control even when you're excited.'

Ianto had said all this looking at his hands, not able to voice his request whilst looking at Jack. He had given this much thought. He knew he needed to have sex with Jack, to get past that barrier. Jack began to understand what Ianto was asking for. He needed to be the one in control, he wanted Jack to be there but not to join in.

It was a first step towards getting back their relationship and Jack was willing to do anything for that. Ianto was using precision and ordering to feel in control, it was how he did things. He needed everything to happen exactly as he had decided it should.

'Ok Ianto, and what then...Tell me now and then we can do everything the way you want to' said Jack.

'Then ...I'd like to fuck you....would that be ok?'

This was Ianto's way of coping, everything set out precisely, an ordered way of doing things. It wouldn't be Jack's way but he tried to understand it.

'Ianto are you sure this is what you want? It seems a little clinical. I'll do whatever you want, but it's not just our sex lives we need to repair' said Jack.

'I know... My way Jack!.. I just need to get this done with...the first time after..I need to take this step..please Jack' begged Ianto.

'Ok, Ianto ok... should we undress?' Jack asked.

Ianto nodded, 'I want to undress you' he said.

They stood up together and Ianto kissed Jack gently, barely touching his lips, then slowly removed his shirt, watching Jack all the time for his reactions. Jack stood passively, not moving, barely reacting so that Ianto should never feel threatened.

Ianto knelt to remove Jack's shoes and socks then stood to slip his trousers over his hips. He stopped for a moment when Jack had only underwear left. He stepped back slightly looking at his lover, checking his level of excitement, and more importantly his level of self control, and took a deep breath before removing the last item of clothing.

Jack stood naked before the young man not moving whilst Ianto gently explored his body with soft caresses, watching ceaselessly for Jack's reaction.

'Lay down' he ordered.

Jack did as he was bid and Ianto sat on the bed next to him.

'Are you going to undress Ianto?' asked Jack.

'No...not yet'.

Jack could see the young man was still very nervous despite Jack's control. It broke Jack's heart. The man before him was an inventive and enthusiastic lover and he had caused him to become reticent and nervous. He admired Ianto's determination in the face of his fear, but he still thought this was the wrong way.

'Even if I come first I may still get excited if you fuck me' said Jack needing to forewarn Ianto of this possibility.

'I know...but it won't be as urgent..you'll be able to control it' said Ianto.

Jack nodded and gulped, Ianto was obviously much more scared about this than he was letting on and Jack admired his determination to overcome his fear. He realised Ianto must really care for him to want to do this.

Ianto took Jack's hand and placed it on his cock'

'do it Jack' he said softly.

Jack felt awkward, he had been in many sexual situations with many different people but even for him this was strange. He decided to concentrate, do this as quickly as possible.

He started to caress himself, languid strokes up and down his shaft. This wasn't going to be easy, it wasn't exactly an exciting situation.

Ianto was watching him intently, sometimes looking in his eyes and sometimes watching his hand. Jack was hard now and pumping faster, trying to reach a climax fast. He looked at Ianto and watched his lover watching him. Watched the young man become excited despite himself by Jack's arousal.

With his free hand Jack took hold of one of Ianto's and the two men looked at each other intently. As Jack came increasingly closer to release Ianto dropped Jack's hand and leaned over to cup the other man's balls and caress them gently. He would not touch Jack's cock, but wanted to be part of the final moments.

Ianto's touch was enough to send Jack over the edge and he came. It was not violent and powerful, he did not scream or shout but barely whispered Ianto's name as he came over his own hand and stomach never looking away from his young lover.

Ianto leant over him and kissed him briefly on the lips,

'thank you' he said.

Jack laughed

'a strange thing to thank me for' he grinned.

'Thank you for doing it...for letting me do things my way... I know it seems weird to you' said Ianto earnestly.

Ianto continued to look at the older man for a while, he wanted to complete the night by fucking Jack. He thought he needed to do this so that the last time they had sex was not the violent episode in the hub. But he was scared. This wasn't how they usually did things, there was no love, no joy, no fun. But Ianto had determined it had to be done. He was taking short nervous breaths. Jack did not move, understanding his nerves.

'Ianto.....it's ok' he whispered.

Ianto nodded and moved to the next stage.

He stood and quickly undressed himself, he was already hard from watching his captain. He rubbed lube over himself and positioned himself over Jack, preparing him. He indicated his still sore shoulder and asked if Jack would be ok to take his weight as he would have to lean on him. Jack nodded.

'This is going to be quick and uneventful' apologised Ianto.

Jack merely nodded again. He determined not to move unnecessarily, to allow the younger man to do what he felt he had to without interruption.

Ianto entered Jack swiftly, closed his eyes and began to thrust fast and hard. Jack braced and tried not to react to the sensations Ianto was causing.

But Ianto slowed and looked into his face, his expression changed and became more relaxed and softer. He leaned his weight into Jack again placing his face in Jack's neck, but took hold of his hand and felt Jack's muscles move in a smile.

Ianto's thrusting became faster again, and then frantic as he neared orgasm. With a final thrust he released the breath he was holding and came fiercely, burying his head onto Jack's shoulder and kissing his neck.

He rolled off his partner and lay exhausted at his side. Jack pulled the covers over them both and turned on his side to look at Ianto.

Ianto flinched slightly as Jack wound an arm around him and then quickly apologised.

'It's ok Ianto.' said Jack.

He snuggled into Ianto's side and felt his lover relax slightly.

'I was raped once' said Jack quietly.

Ianto stiffened in his arms,

'you didn't rape me' he insisted.

'Ok' said Jack 'ok..but that's what happened to me.'

'I'm sorry' said Ianto 'will you tell me about it?'

'It was not long after I left home to join the time agency. I was seventeen and cocky as hell, went to a bar and couldn't hold my drink. Two men took me home when I was drunk but I sobered fast when I realised what they had in mind. In principle I wouldn't have objected, but they weren't interested in pleasure...just in inflicting pain' said Jack.

'They threw me out afterwards and I ran back to the base, just glad to be alive. I carried the pain of that night for a long time...still do sometimes...it's why even now I rarely get drunk' he continued.

'Oh Jack!' said Ianto trembling with rage at the thought of Jack being hurt.

'I didn't know them, never had to see them again. Ianto you're much braver than me...if it had been someone I knew who had done that to me...someone I loved and trusted...well I'm not sure I could have done what you just did' continued Jack.

'You didn't rape me Jack..I never said no' insisted Ianto again.

'I know in my heart that you would never hurt me...my mind just needs a bit of time to catch up' he smiled.

'Maybe we can help each other chase the nightmares tonight' suggested Jack.

'I don't know Jack...this doesn't feel right.'

'How do you mean?' asked Jack.

'I'm sorry I think I need you to go. What we just did....that's not us...that's not what we do...it's supposed to be fun..nice....enjoyable..it's supposed to be shared. I was wrong to think having sex with you would make it all go away' Ianto's voice was shaky.

'Maybe you were right...this isn't the way'

Jack felt rejected but knew he shouldn't, he had known this wasn't the answer, but he didn't know what was, he didn't know how to make it better. He realised Ianto could not just bury what had happened, they had taken a small step but that was all.

'Ok Ianto I'll leave. Are you ok though?' asked Jack.

'I'm fine. I just need to think some more' said Ianto.

He pulled Jack back to him for a lingering kiss.

'We will be ok, I promise. I just need a bit longer to figure out how' he whispered.

'Don't think too hard about it' said Jack 'sometimes you need to feel not think'

As he squeezed Ianto's hands he said

'Ianto...I had a beautiful Welsh boy...find him...send him back to me...'

XXXXXXXXXXX

What is the answer? And will our boys be able to discover it? Final chapter up soon.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N Thanks for the reviews and story alerts guys – it's easier to write when you know someone is reading.

MM sex scenes in this final chapter – but then it is Jack and Ianto so you knew that right?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The following morning as Ianto stood at his workstation Jack came up behind him and worked his arms around the younger man's waist. Ianto jumped and struggled briefly but relaxed when Jack instantly loosened his hold.

'Sorry' he apologised.

'Don't be' said Jack 'you took a huge step last night.'

'I haven't got forever Jack' smiled Ianto 'probably haven't got long at all...I intend to have what I want most whilst I'm here...I won't let anything take it from me.'

Jack gulped. He had seen the passion with which Ianto had sought to save Lisa, the man's determination was beyond description. It was humbling and slightly unnerving to have that sort of dedication aimed at him.

'Did you do more thinking?' asked Jack.

'Yes.'

But suddenly Ianto sagged.

'I did some feeling too' he gulped.

He looked up at Jack with tears in his eyes.

'You hurt me' he sobbed.

Jack watched the tears brim over and fall down Ianto's cheeks and felt the response behind his own eyes.

'I know' he whispered 'I know.'

'Make it better Jack' insisted Ianto.

Ianto was vaguely aware that he sounded like a four year old having a temper tantrum, but he didn't care, he wanted Jack to make it better.

'I don't know how' answered Jack.

He pulled Ianto into a hug. Ianto resisted but then slumped in his lover's arms and sobbed. It was a violent but brief collapse. Ianto pulled himself up and turned to plant a kiss in the crook of Jack's neck. Jack continued to stroke the younger man's hair and neck and they just held each other for a moment.

There was genuine affection in the hug and the strokes. This wasn't about sex. It wasn't about how to get past the violence of one encounter and the clinical detachment of the next one. This was them as a couple. It made them both feel reconnected on a level that the sex of the previous night could never have managed.

The two men broke the embrace and looked at each other smiling. The hub alarm sounded and Gwen walked in. She shouted hello and headed straight for her workstation, she was quickly followed by Owen and Toshiko. Everybody started work.

The morning was uneventful, Owen stayed in his lab still avoiding Jack as far as possible. Ianto made his usual coffee runs and stayed talking to Jack in his office each time. Gwen still puzzled slightly over the atmosphere. It annoyed her that the others were keeping something from her, but despite her best efforts no further information had been forthcoming.

Just after lunch Jack joined Ianto in the archives where he was attempting to create some order in the files from the sixties. Jack made lots of noise in his approach and Ianto was standing waiting when he finally appeared. He stopped before approaching the other man.

'Is it ok that I came here Ianto?' he asked.

The archives had been the scene of many a sexual encounter between the two men, but it was also where they escaped to talk privately when the hub was busy. But mostly it was Ianto's place. It was where he went to get away from the incessant chat and activity of the team, where he could get his fix of quiet and order. Jack did not want him to feel threatened here of all places.

Ianto smiled at him and gestured for him to approach.

'I know the sixties was an era of peace and free love Jack, but that did not rule out a filing system surely?' he said in exasperation indicating the chaos.

Jack laughed.

'Oh we really had better things to think about in the sixties' he said. 'The space race, flower power, miniskirts' he continued and Ianto rolled his eyes.

'Gwen is still trying to find out what's wrong' said Jack sitting on the edge of the large table.

Ianto looked up troubled.

'I don't want her to know Jack' he said earnestly.

'I know' whispered Jack. 'She'll find something else to focus on soon, nobody will tell her anything.'

Ianto nodded knowing it was true. They spent a quiet half hour together just talking and sharing thoughts, sitting together. They were interrupted by the rift activity alarm. Jack ran and Ianto walked back to the main area.

'What is it Tosh?' asked Jack.

'Something has come through Jack, in a car park in the city centre. The signature suggests it is inorganic' answered Toshiko.

'Ok locate and retrieve. Toshiko take the portable rift locator with you, Gwen deal with any witnesses, Owen go with them' ordered Jack.

'Tosh should stay here and read the monitors, Ianto can come with us' said Owen.

He did not like the idea of the two men left alone at the hub.

'Don't be daft Owen, Ianto won't be able to lift anything heavy with his shoulder still healing' objected Gwen. 'It makes more sense for him to stay and watch the monitors'.

Owen was about to protest when Ianto interrupted.

'Gwen's right Owen, if the object is heavy I won't be much use' his eyes pleaded with Owen to understand.

Owen looked from Ianto to Jack and back again then nodded assent. They left and Ianto took up his post at Toshiko's station ready to send location details should they be needed. Jack sat with him for a time and then left to complete paperwork in his office.

The quiet was restful and Ianto let his mind wander as he tapped in location coordinates to update the others. He watched his captain wander his office and smiled to himself. These were precious moments when they were alone.

He received a message from Toshiko that the retrieval would take longer than expected. There were several witnesses and they would need to take statements and convince them of an agreed cover story. Ianto sent a message back to say he would have coffee waiting and then went to the kitchen to make himself and Jack a drink.

Jack noticed his preparations and wandered out of his office to join Ianto.

'Ok?' he asked.

Ianto smiled at him.

'Yes' he said simply.

He indicated they should sit on the sofa.

'Tosh says they'll be a while longer, complications with witnesses' he said.

'Oh' said Jack.

They sat companionably side by side, not talking just enjoying each other and the quiet. Jack picked up the report from UNIT that he had been reading and continued to peruse it. He was half way down the second page when he became aware of Ianto watching him.

'What?' he asked.

'It's a while since we've been here like this' said Ianto.

Jack smiled.

'Is it ok?' he asked.

'Yes...it's nice...but you're not harassing me...you always harass me' complained Ianto smiling.

Jack watched him carefully.

'Soon Ianto...but not yet...not until you feel safe' he said gently.

Ianto pouted.

'Well at least kiss me' he complained leaning in.

Jack was about to protest but Ianto's mouth was over his and demanding attention and Jack kissed back. Ianto tried to tell Jack how safe he felt by placing his lover's hands on his own chest and snaking his hands around his lover's waist, under his shirt and stroking his bare skin.

The hub alarm sounded to announce the arrival of the others just as they were both beginning to relax into the embrace. They broke the kiss and rested their foreheads together for a moment smiling .

'Thank you' whispered Jack before they separated to attend to duties.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ianto had still gone home alone last night much to Jack's disappointment. They had regained something, but steps still needed to be taken and Jack was determined to tread softly.

Ianto's physical injuries were all but healed and the atmosphere in the hub was slowly returning to normal. Even Owen was attempting to regain his moody snipes at everyone although they were less vicious now than previously.

They were all resettling into a routine. But today would test that as the rift activity alarm was sounding as they all arrived.

'What is it Tosh?' asked Jack coming out of his office.

'Something has come through...there are reports coming in of an incident in a pub...wait I'll try to get CCTV images from the area' responded Toshiko working at her monitor.

They all watched the images appear on the screen and took a sharp intake of breath. An alien had appeared, vaguely humanoid in shape and obviously in distress and this was making it aggressive. As they watched, it tore past two astonished onlookers throwing one of them to the ground.

'Let's get out there before it does some real damage' said Jack. 'Owen get some weevil spray, if we're lucky it will at least subdue it sufficiently for us to get it back here' ordered Jack.

The team started to leave, Jack grabbed Ianto's wrist.

'Ianto will you be ok out there?' he asked. 'We might need all of us'.

'I'll be fine Jack. I'm healed. I'm ok' Ianto insisted.

Jack nodded but still looked unsure. However there was no time to argue and they left the hub.

They reached their destination and split up. Owen and the girls in the direction indicated by the portable rift detector, Ianto and Jack back tracking to the original location. Hopefully the alien was still in the area between the two sites.

'Tosh have you got a location yet?' demanded Jack over the coms.

'East from your position Jack, hurry the streets are narrow where you are and you'll lose him' Toshiko responded.

Jack grabbed his lover's hand briefly.

'Be careful out there gorgeous' he winked.

Ianto rolled his eyes but still grinned at him. They both loved this, the chase, the adrenalin. Suddenly the alien shot past them in the opposite direction, it had obviously double backed. Ianto shouted to the others over his coms and followed Jack in pursuit.

The alien led them down a dark alley, both men slowing as their eyes attempted to adjust to the dark. Suddenly Ianto screamed in agony as he felt a blow in the ribs followed by claws digging into his thigh. He retaliated by throwing a punch that connected somewhere as the alien let out a scream of pain.

Jack had rushed to Ianto's aid and was now grappling on the floor trying desperately to keep jagged teeth away from his neck. With a roar Ianto launched himself at the alien and his lover. He pulled the alien off the other man and rolled over pulling the alien with him.

Jack howled in fury as he heard Ianto scream in pain again and aimed his gun at the creature. He could not get a clear shot and resorted to fists once more. Between them the two men grappled the creature into handcuffs and Jack sprayed it with weevil spray which luckily seemed to have the desired effect.

Jack helped Ianto to his feet and they both laughed manically, loving the rush of adrenalin and fear that fights produced. They looked at each other panting and with eyes full of lust.

Jack did what he always did in these situations he pinned Ianto to the nearest wall with his hands about his throat and kissed him fiercely. Whenever they went weevil hunting it always ended with Ianto pinned by his throat against a wall.

Usually Ianto continued the fight for a while making Jack earn his submission. Sometimes in these fights Ianto would win and be the one pinning Jack to the wall. Ianto was not as strong as Jack, but what he lacked in strength he more than made up for in agility and cunning. But tonight he did not fight .

The two men moaned into the kiss and ground their erections together for added friction.

Jack suddenly became aware of what he was doing and dropped his hands backing away from Ianto slightly.

'I'm sorry' he gasped.

Ianto gently placed Jack's hands back on his own throat.

Don't be sorry Jack....you know I like it' he said.

Ianto kissed him gently and then with abandon, grinding his erection into the older man's encouraging him to take further control. Jack knew Ianto wanted this, wanted what they normally had, but still was concerned not to take it further than the other man was ready for. He squeezed his hands at Ianto's neck and was rewarded by a low moan. Ianto moaned his approval into the older man's mouth as he felt his breath cut off and his cock stiffen in response.

Jack broke the kiss so that their mouths were still close and their breaths mingling still panting and rubbing their groins together.

'Ianto....I need you so badly...want you' gasped Jack his voice thick with need.

Ianto wrapped one leg up around his captain's waist and drew his neck down so that he could attack it with his lips, biting to encourage Jack to continue his aggression.

Gwen rounded the corner and took in the situation instantly. She ignored the rutting men and established that the alien was subdued. Owen quickly joined her, saw Jack holding Ianto against the wall and strode towards the two men.

'Owen!' hissed Gwen.

With the small part of his brain that could still function coherently Ianto had heard Gwen shout Owen's name and knew the footsteps he could hear coming closer were the medics. He realised his friend was misreading the situation and about to create a scene. He took his left hand off Jack's hip and held it up, palm forward behind his back signifying to Owen to stop.

Owen did stop, breathing heavily but he was not happy.

'Jack!' he shouted and waited impatiently for a response.

Jack broke the kiss and placed his forehead against Ianto's gasping and almost laughing at the same time. He turned to face Owen.

'Yes Owen' he snapped.

Owen looked at the small smile on Ianto's face and the flush of lust on his cheeks and turned back to Jack.

'Are we taking this alien back to the hub, or all having sex in an alley?' he asked.

Jack laughed and walked towards Gwen. Ianto came up behind Owen and whispered in his ear.

'Thanks sexy'.

'Oi don't take the piss teaboy' snarled Owen but they smiled at each other and went about their task of removing evidence of alien intrusion into Cardiff.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Later back at the hub Toshiko had helped Owen to take blood and tissue samples from the alien and then helped Ianto to confine him in a cell. Ianto was making arrangements for several different types of food to be available for when it awoke.

Gwen was writing up the report to be filed when the medical tests were complete. Owen tested samples and Toshiko was running results through various computer analysis programmes that she had been working on, trying to establish a DNA database. Ianto arranged a cleanup operation, cover stories and press releases.

Jack watched his team running through their work quickly and efficiently and felt pride for each and every one of them. He thought he and Ianto had taken another step forward today and this made him very happy.

After a while Ianto appeared at his door with a mug of coffee for each of them. He smiled at the older man as he stepped into the office and placed the drinks on the table.

'That was fun out there' announced Ianto.

Jack grinned at him.

'Yes it was....' he said. 'Ianto...you usually fight me...not today..why?' he questioned.

'Didn't want you to think I actually wanted to get away' smiled Ianto.

'..Ianto....did you feel safe?' Jack questioned carefully.

Ianto came toward his lover and sat on his lap, bringing his face down to kiss Jack gently on the lips.

'Yes Jack....yes I did' he whispered.

The two men deepened the kiss, the lust from the alleyway flaring again, but more contained and softer now. Neither heard the door open and continued to kiss and touch each other, undoing buttons until they heard Owen cough. Ianto looked up at him.

'Yes Owen' said Jack.

Jack continued to kiss and nibble at Ianto's neck whilst Ianto looked at Owen directly not reacting to his lovers attentions.

'Right...what you are doing to the teaboy involves so very many levels of wrong that I'm just gonna keep right on talking and pretend I don't see it' said Owen.

'I think that's for the best Owen' said Ianto straight faced.

Owen watched as Jack licked the back of Ianto's neck and began to gently bite it, one hand sneaking under his shirt and stroking his stomach. Ianto continued to look at Owen expectantly but his eyes were beginning to glaze slightly, and his cheeks were flushed with contained lust. Owen felt a responding flare of lust lick at his own belly as he watched the two of them. He shook himself slightly and placed a report on the desk.

'I'll just send the rest of the results via e-mail' he spluttered and left the office quickly.

Ianto returned to kissing Jack, but Jack stopped him.

'Ianto I stand in awe of how you have coped with all this. I keep an important fact from you that gets you hurt badly, and yet here you are kissing me' said Jack in amazement.

'It's easy to understand Jack....I want you...I love you' replied Ianto shyly.

Jack gulped.

'I've not been loved very often Ianto' he admitted.

'I find that hard to believe' laughed Ianto.

'Oh I've inspired lots of emotions in my time' said Jack.

'Jealousy... anger... hatred occasionally... lust often... but very rarely love' he continued sadly.

Ianto looked as if he still did not quite believe what Jack was telling him.

'Few people have loved me once they knew me and all my faults...that takes an amount of patience and understanding beyond most people. You are the first to know all about me...where and when I'm from...and that I can't die...and you still love me....it's taken me a while to believe it' he said.

'Believe it Jack' whispered Ianto.

'I love you too Ianto' he stuttered.

'I know' smiled Ianto.

'You do?' questioned Jack.

'Owen told me' answered Ianto with a smile.

'Owen?' Jack said incredulously.

'He can be remarkably perceptive for an insensitive prick' laughed Ianto.

'So it would seem' said Jack still a little stunned.

'I knew anyway' whispered Ianto.

The two men just sat for a while enjoying the closeness and just holding each other.

Jack sent everybody home as soon as the most urgent aspects of the case had been dealt with and sat in his office for a while thinking of what had happened between him and Ianto that day. Things were returning to normal slowly but surely. Even Owen had returned to something approaching his usual sniping remarks, Jack had never thought he could be glad of that.

Jack left his office and was surprised to see Ianto sitting on the sofa and watching him. Jack wondered why the young man was still here, he moved slowly over to join him.

Ianto continued to watch him his face expressionless. Jack became concerned, was Ianto angry, upset, what was the young man thinking? He sat with him on the sofa.

'Ianto...what?' he begged.

Ianto took Jack's hands and entwined his own fingers with the older mans. He looked earnestly into his eyes and leant forwards to ghost a kiss across his lips. He kept his lips millimetres from Jack's and whispered

'sir'.

Jack's breath instantly hitched, this was one of Ianto's most favoured ways of initiating sex between them. But he did not want to misread what was on offer. Ianto moved slightly and tentatively kissed Jack's neck below his ear then moved his lips back to his lovers.

'Is there anything you want me to do sir?' he asked softly.

Jack let out a low moan. Ianto often used this tactic to encourage Jack to be dominant, to take the control he was being offered.

Jack could feel his whole body begin to throb in anticipation and he raised his hands to cup Ianto's face and draw it in for a still soft but deeper kiss. Ianto responded instantly by drawing his body into Jack's embrace his hands coming to rest naturally on the other mans hips and wandering down his thighs. Jack growled in response to the other mans touch, he stopped kissing his mouth and began to kiss and nibble at his neck his breath hitching as Ianto drew his head to one side offering more of his exposed neck to Jack's attention. This was how it was supposed to be.

Ianto had not stayed with him at the hub since that night. He had also not called him sir since then, Jack guessed because it sounded too submissive in the face of what had happened. He thought Ianto was offering a return to their usual activities but he wanted to be sure.

He stopped kissing and nibbling long enough to gasp.

'Is it ok...us being alone here? Is this what you want?' hope was rising in Jack. This would be the final step in getting back their relationship.

'Always' responded Ianto.

Ianto began to nibble at Jack's neck.

'Tell me what you want me to do sir' he whispered in Jack's ear.

He continued to bite Jack's neck encouraging the older man to react.

'I want us to make love' gasped Jack.

Ianto looked into his eyes and smiled.

'That's a little girly isn't it sir?' he questioned.

Jack laughed.

'Yes...I suppose.'

He became more serious.

'But that's what I want...what I think we both need...will you let me make love to you Ianto..please' asked Jack.

Ianto didn't answer just kissed the older man with more force. Then took his hand and led him to Jack's underground room.

Once there Ianto slowly unbuttoned Jack's shirt. Jack was still worried about going beyond Ianto's comfort zone and so stood unmoving. Ianto took Jack's hands and placed them on his own chest, undoing one of his own buttons and pushing Jack's fingers inside his shirt.

'Share with me sir' he begged.

Jack gulped. He was being offered his life back. He slowly unbuttoned Ianto's shirt and they helped each other to remove the articles standing bare chested before each other.

Jack could see the lust in Ianto's glazed eyes and he tested him by taking subtle control and kissing along Ianto's neck and shoulders. He felt the younger man relax and his breathing become faster as he clenched his fingers around Jack's upper arms.

Jack stopped long enough to look into Ianto's eyes as his hands fell to the younger mans fly button. He slowly lowered the zip whilst asking breathlessly.

'Is this ok?'

'Yes sir' whispered Ianto, sending fresh waves of lust through Jack's body.

Shoes, socks and trousers were quickly lost from both men and they were on the bed in their underwear.

This is how it was meant to be. They lay facing each other, one hand with fingers entwined kissing and caressing, gently getting to know each others bodies once more.

As their breathing became faster and their level of arousal heightened Jack broke away from the other man briefly.

'Ianto....loose the underwear.'

Neither man was sure if it was a demand or a request, but Ianto decided now was the time to submit to his captain and allowed the older man to strip him. They hadn't touched this intimately since 'that' night. Ianto felt slightly nervous as if it was all new again, but he looked into his lover's eyes and felt renewed trust. He looked down at his lover's body and realised this wasn't new, it was familiar and it was yearned for.

He reached down to stroke Jack's cock gently and Jack mirrored his actions.

'Together Ianto...we share' whispered Jack.

Jack kissed Ianto's neck, across his shoulders and down his chest all the time stroking languidly up and down his shaft. Ianto felt himself give in completely to his desire for this man as he felt Jack's hot mouth encircle him and suck gently.

Jack watched his lover as he sucked him making sure he was happy with what was happening. He relaxed as he saw Ianto's eyes drift closed and his hips buck up into Jack's mouth and listened to his breathing become ragged.

He felt Ianto trying to push him away and looked up again worried. Ianto pulled him up into a passionate kiss.

'I don't want to come yet' he gasped.

Jack quirked an eyebrow at him as Ianto lay down on his back and attempted to pull Jack on top of himself.

'Jack please' he whispered frantically.

He opened his thighs invitingly and Jack fell between them.

'Ianto....I don't know..' said Jack concerned.

Ianto had groped for the lube in the drawer and was lowering his resistance by rubbing it generously around his groin, massaging his cock.

'Jack listen to me...you...are my captain..I trust you with my life...I trust you with my love...and I trust you not to hurt me' he whispered into Jack's mouth.

He lifted his hips slightly and wrapped his legs about Jack's waist.

'Have faith Jack' he begged.

Jack entered his lover slowly inch by inch watching him constantly. When he was completely encased he looked into his eyes and watched the emotions play across his face.

They lost themselves in the moment...in this act of love, forgiveness and renewal.

They left the 'darkness' behind, and once more found love, life and pleasure in the light.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A/N I like happy endings – hope it wasn't too fluffy.


End file.
